Orchid Update

They died.

(sigh) I really shouldn't have named them.

Orchids

Pretty, aren't they?

I wonder if they will last.

Last week Sarah and I walked into Smiths and in their floral section they had a plethora of orchids. I love orchids. I think they are sooooooo pretty! I not only love them for their beauty, but for that fact that Nero Wolfe likes them and I like Nero Wolfe. But I like them because they are pretty too.

Sarah and I stopped to admire them and I fell in love with this little yellow orchid plant. As we wandered around the store I talked myself into buying them. I did and I love them. They look great in my room. But there will be heartbreak in my future. Here's why:

I can't grow anything.

When I try to grow something, it dies.

A good example is the amaryllis. Years ago Mom gave me an amaryllis kit. It's one of those boxes that you can buy in the winter time. All you have to do is plant it, water it once a week, leave it alone, and in a few weeks you get a beautiful flower. Anyone can grow it, I was told. Well, I planted mine, and watered it faithfully every week and it grew a little, then it died. Anyone can grow it my foot.

Since then I haven't dared let my very not green thumb near any plant life. But as I was driving home with my orchid I decided that was going to change. I was just considering what I was going to name my orchid (because I name everything) when Sarah said out loud "You better not name them because they're going to die."

I decided not to name them.

Now it is a matter of keeping them alive. They have lasted a week so far. How far will they go?

Dr. Dolittle, who had been just like family to us, is really a homicidal maniac. He did everything with us, except wash the dishes. So, it was a shock to see how he had turned on his adopted family.
It started with little things. Looking up and seeing him staring at us in the lights. But, he didn't just stop at stalking.

We should've realized when we first saw him playing with matches that something was wrong. But, when we turned and saw him on the verge of stabbing us in the back we knew he had to go.

Our poor Dr. Dolittle felt such remorse for his threatening behavior that he decided to end it all. It's a shame really. It was too late be the time we realized that it wasn't really Dr. Dolittle, but the dang parrot who learned hypnosis from his previous master. Polynesia, the parrot, was the true culprit in this sad story. Although Polyneisia was alive and well when we found Dr. Dolittle, he has now disappeared. Who knows whom or what this parrot will possess next.

Trying to be Flossie

On my mission when I was always known as Sister Dixon, I never really indulged my first name to anyone. But when people asked instead of making a big deal of not telling them, I would simply tell them that my name was Flossie.

I would get different reactions. Everything from surprise to unbelief to an awkward silence of them trying to figure out what to say (Usually they end up saying something like, "oh" and "is that a family name?" or "is your father a dentist?" All the honest people would say right out "that's a weird name"). What do you say when someone says their name is Flossie? Afterwards I would say just kidding and laugh a bit.

One time my companion and I were talking with a group of elders about first names. When they asked me what my first name was I of course told them Flossie. The reaction was nothing. Straight faces all around. So, I left it at that. Three weeks later we were talking again about names and I decided to tell them that I had lied to them. Turns out that when I told them my name was Flossie as soon as I was out of earshot they had laughed and amongst themselves they would always refer to me as Sister Flossie. It became a joke and most of them called me Flossie to my face after that.

I really don't get much opportunity to say my name is Flossie anymore unless it is at Jamba Juice, and they always spell it wrong! Can you imagine spelling it Flossy instead. It's criminal. Flossie is insulted by the mere thought of it.

Oh, and Flossie hates the dentist joke.

And yes, she flosses every day.

Introducing.......Flossie!

So, what with two jobs and school I am kept rather busy and boring. I have been out of touch with everyone, including my family and I thought a blog would help.

Alas, I have no time.

Flossie, however, always has time.

Flossie is smart. Flossie is clever. Flossie knows all.

So, we all need to explore our inner Flossie.